Dot dot dot.... yeah.. it's so exciting..
I don't even know what induced it.
It just happens, Out of no where
sudden feelings of fear, over nothing.
just standing there, start shaking a tad bit on the inside.
sudden thoughts of, "shit maybe I might have to go to the hospital.."
"god damn it i can't breath"
You're chest gets tight, suddenly conscious of your racing heart beat.
You really know its a normal heart beat, but it doesn't feel like it at the same time.
your throat gets tight, you feel dizzy when you are perfectly fine.
Why? Why does this happen?
"Try basic relaxing methods." she says
They don't work
the best thing that works is staying home, or the simple comfort of your oh-so caring not caring mother.
A childish fear just like when you walk into your kindergarten classroom, for the first day of school, then you turn around to see your parent starting to walk away, to the door.
You want to cry, and you do.
Why is all I can ask.
I'm tired of living my life this way, even if it has only been 4 months, so long, but so short when compared to a life span.
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on another note..
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I'm glad I have a some-what fantastic sense of street smarts.
But that doesn't get you into college, that doesn't get you a degree, that gets you a good job.
But does it in the end? which matters more?
A good word for you on your resume, or being able to connect with others on another level that most can't?
Most of my family members and friends, all can read at a high level, can write a college level.
I know not everyone can be smart. nor have common sense.
I know i have common sense, but, I want to able to persuade people to the better.
How can I do that if I don't have book smarts?
I would never fully give up my common sense for only book smarts, that'd be just straight out ridiculous.
Though, I wish I could type this all out, with out having to use the spell checker every other words that are larger then 6 letters.
One can wish all they want, but do they deserve it? maybe its why they wish for it, is because they don't deserve it. Maybe I ask too many maybe questions.
Maybe I just question things too much, and not give enough answers.
Who knows.
Common sense is the flipside of book smarts, yes? no?
Book smarts gets you in the college, the common sense is what keeps you likable (for the most part)
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Grades
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I don't understand grades, not at all
A letter, that tells what your future more then likly holds for you.
But I understand the whole idea.. but I don't know.. Id think that, the world would be a better place if we have schools that would hone ones special skill, and train them in that, and if they decide to change, then so be it. But Why pick 4 main subjects, and force all of them to go to that certain standard?
I understand that part also, But what if they don't succed in that in particular?
god this seems so stupid to ask. ending it here
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