Feeling that kind of guilt.

So this morning *about 4:30 am* while making money (painting 2 paintings)
I heard these sounds outside as if some drunk college kids were derping around, or even just regular dip shits yelling at each other for what ever monkey crap they had between them for that moment.

The first thing I thought to myself:

"I should go outside and take a look just in case I can help some how...naw I'm too busy working on these.. besides theres tons a yelling around here anyways....but what if it was something where people needed help? I'd regret it if it was"

And of course, the universe being the being it is, had to prove my gut right. (Always follow the gut O:<  )

Not to long after the sounds calmed down about 8-15 minutes later,
5 fire trucks, 3 ambulances, and a good fist full of cop cars all turned on their rave lights to a house thats RIGHT across the street lit like a flippin candle.

The guilt and regret, only noticeable due to sleep deprivation.

But I keep reminding myself: I couldn't and wouldn't done anything simply because the state of the fire may have been small when I would have looked.

Luckily mostly everyone was safe, only one got hurt, only a weedy bit.

Dear grandma;

You became a dribbling drool blob in a matter of weeks. Not from anything natural but only your own mind. I hate the fact i dislike you so much to the point of almost loathing you. You're disgusting. I'm only disappointed in the fact that you followed as if your own daughter and the man that mistreated you so horribly as you age. I cant stand to look at you, though I know that if I don't look now, I'll forget what you look like when you pass. I don't want to say it but I know that it's true, you're most definitely due soon.