I think I'm so willing to stand,
since I used to be so ready,
to die by my own hand.
Lil rhymey thing...laying in bed, realized how weak people are, realizing one of my simple dreams coming true: buying a house. And yet, so many people are leaning on me for support.
My mom, my dad, my brother, my best friend, all owe me money over 60.00. The highest being 500.00,atleast. I love them, but damn. Theyre all fuckin adults, and I understand some times are tough, but at this point, its litterally a lack of common sense.
Ive been working a shit server job (this isnt too bad compared to the last restaurant, but its still "serving")
6.50/hr (got a. 50 raise :) ) + tips , usually averaging about 11.00/hr makes it worth my time, even more so since I don't have to wear a uniform.
Hmm.... Soon, everyone will be dropping like flys, from one thing or another....
My dad...well, he was fucked so many times by the system, and did too many drugs..does too many I should say....I'm just glad he's not in the streets...or on my couch...i love him to bits, but I wish hed stop mixing drugs and alcohol...
My mom..she seems best well off, but if she doesn't start taking care of her self, health wise, or stop taking out convenient money, itll be her end, probably heart attack...
My bro, what kind of relationship is it if you have to make a "goal" for your fiance to meet to get married? Holding a job, or having multiple jobs in a year? Really? She's NOT a future. If she wanted to change, she would have. Simply having a job changes you for the better (usually) socially.
By best friend..well.. I was so ready to forgive you if you just didn't lie to me, I cant trust you anymore... I knew it wasnt a "stomach " condition, though I wish it was... I asked you, even straight to your face if you were using, you knew I didn't care, as long as you could handle you're shit. But you couldn't. And you did.
Atleast youre trying though. <3 ill be here for you when you're ready to come back.
well i didnt intend on bitchin this long...i have work in the morning
, only working 3 shifts for a while since we "make too much money" for some down payment assistance. I hope it works out...the amount make ia litterally 900.00 too much between 2 people.
Too much for assistance, too little to actually afford a house, let alone utilities fir said house.